So, this is my blog. I made my site on 4/1/2023, and only now do I actually have a blog. On this blog, I'll write about things that happen to me, I guess, or just things I'm thinking about. uhh so I'll start typing I guess.
I searched up "Kazerad" on DeviantArt, turns out hes not got an account, which is what I was hoping to uncover, instead a bunch of enemies are drawing porn of Katia Managan. I don't think I've really spoken about that kind of thing on my site yet, but sight of such things inspires a level of rage few things match. Disgusting animals. Kazerad says he sees no issue with people making porn of prequel but I do not share his optimism. I believe ■■■■■ or ■■■■■■■■■■■■ would be an acceptable price to pay for this offense, such ■ ■■■■■■■■ would also be reasonable for other things I will probably get into in another blog post. They could individually gain my forgiveness in other ways as well perhaps.
Me and Kazerad are internet friends, if you know who he is, it probably comes as a shock that some random neocities user just so happens to be friends with one of the biggest webcomic creators/ artists. Its an interesting thing, really, I started out messaging him around the time this site was created, and continued every couple of days whenever gmail told me to follow up on the email. He responded on the 13th of april, which was my birthday. I was truly ecstatic, and to this day I beleive it was the greatest birthday I've had so far. Before this I already really liked him, but on this response, I was in love. He is probably both the most famous and coolest person I've ever met. I continued sending him emails for about 3 months, with no response. These emails showed my fall to insanity and delusion, so I don't really blame him for ignoring/blocking me. Now I send him messages on discord every once in a while, he responds often, though he is very busy. As I write this, he is ignoring me I think, hoping I'll stop emailing him, but I'm not sure, the man is an engima.
I think I have him figured out though, he's said before he disliked talking about "NSFW" things with me, and in a recent message I said a couple things, a simple mistake, a lapse in memory, but nonetheless I beleive I have scared him off for now. I often say disturbing things in the midst of conversation to keep peoples attention, and also cause I think its funny to see their reactions, and I do this online as well, in which marks my mistake, I've scared him off. Kazerad seems to like hiding intentions in his messages, for example, I recall one night when I was acting crazy in his streams chat, as normally happens at night, I said I was going to go to bed and he said "sleep good" to me, I thought he was just wishing me a good sleep, but him and another of his flock got into an argument about what he meant by "sleep good". Kazerad revealed to this man that he in fact meant "sleep good" as telling me that quote "acting like that wouldn't fly", I have no idea what other hints I've not picked up on. Like I said, the man is an enigma.
Was playing Far Cry 2 but had to rock a piss, TV was incredibly hot cause its an old one, so I turned it off and started typing a blog post. I am pretty sure Kazerad is the only person who looks at my blog, so if please spread my site around to your friends, and tell them to send me an email for fucks sake. I imagine most people do not know who Kazerad is, so I'll explain. Kazerad the creator of the greatest webcomic ever, Prequel. This webcomic is set in the Elder Scrolls 4 Oblivion, and has an incredible sense of humor and art style. If you go to check it out, keep it on the down low please, an influx of new fans would destroy the current ancient community. Kazerad is one of the nicest people I've met, he is so nice and funny and cool, and still tolerates me, despite my being an annoying asshole. My friends always say I sound like I have a crush on him when I talk about him, but I don't think so, hes jsut really cool. He streams on Picarto often if you want to check him out, drawing and having people come in to test his game AutumnFlower. In a cold and uncaring act, he kicked me out of his streams, and even renigged his offer for me to playtest his game, which is near unforgivable, though I have forgiven him for this blind and ignorant action, as I beleive his friend AyGee and Luve were the masters behind this cruelty. AyGee is a generic degenerate furry, hes into inflation and all of the horrible things that cause me to hate furries (other than Kazerad), he also drew katia managan porn, which is a soulless action, and solidifies his place as an enemy. I know nothing of luve for the most part, but they seem to be a trusted advisor to Kazerad, and I have not seen them perpetrate any horror as AG has, so I forgive them for their transgressions against me.
I don't know what I thought about all day before I discovered prequel and grew to be friends with the creator. I think I jsut thought about killing people brutally for small transgression and annoyances when in school. Now I just think about him and things to say to him i guess, he's cool. God also complains that all I pray about nowadays is how great Kazerad is. Thoughts not about him are about my friends, and horrible things I have done to them and plan to do in the future. I think of the majority of them as friends, and like quite a lot of them, though I do take joy in running little experiments with them. I once convinced them I was a paranoid delusional schizophrenic, I think I overshot it though, casting the act into unbeleivability. My great friend-brother Jonathan is a viable asset, and my most trusted ally. Even Kazerad I do not trust, for he may be a snake in the grass, waiting for his chance to betray me as others have before. Kazerad may be an ally, but even the cake given by your most trusted friend could be poisoned. I will report back to my blog with any developments with him. Jonathan is a man I have known since the early days, since I was in elementary school in fact, I have known the man since kindergarten, and hope to continue my friendship with him till his death. A friend of mine once told me I had the perfect fittings for a mercenary, its a tempting job to me, cause I heard they make a LOT of money. If teh way I talk in this post is strange, its likely cause its very late at night, and "the liquor is in control".
My last few blogs probably sounded like I was insane/murderous. Normally late at night the madness has begun, so I already was going crazy, but I was also playing Far Cry 2, so I was thinking like The Jackal, so thats why, a combination of sleep deprivation and Far Cry 2, I'm not going to go back and change them for archival purposes though, jsut claryifying. If you have not played Far Cry 2, The Jackal is this badass arms dealer that has all these speeches you can find in game on tapes. It's also kind of like Visari from Killzone, I ahte killzone but the story and Radec are so cool. Kazerad has yet to give me my coveted attention, I sent him a message yesterday or the day before asking him for advice on how to stay commited to an oblivion playthrough, cause thats a problem with me, I can never stay commited to oblivion, he hasnt responded to me. I think I am starting to understand, cause think about it, I am very annoying and mentally insane, and I am emailing this guy. I always do wish he would teach me something like how to be like him, an awesome artist or something, cause I want to be like him. Kazerad is a great man, don't get me wrong, but popular internet artists like him do stupify me in some ways.
I've never liked the whole "commisions" thing, not from the perspective of "I don't want to pay the artist" I think from the perspective of "Why ask for money?" I mean, I have no interest in ever asking for someone to make art for me, cause I can do that myself. Instead, I think requests are what it should be. I would love for someone to request me to draw something, I love drawing things! The only thing is that if someone does request a drawing from me, I have to physically give the person the drawing, which sucks cause I'm gonna want my drawings in my book, not in some assholes cupboard, If I had digital drawing tablet, that would be no problem but I just thought that was interesting. An artist cannot make a living from drawing without "selling their soul" to the MAN, and losing their original art style. Most commisions are only like 10-15 dollars, so say you get 4 a week right, thats 50 dollars. You get 50 dollars a week for being an artist, which is pointless to me. Kazerad does like 40 dollars for some tiny ass sticker sheet thing but he doesn't do it for the money. Kazerad just likes making art and people being happy, which is why I like him so much, people offer to give him money for like patreon or whatever, but he says "No I already have money, if you want to give me money, I will give you something" like selling stickers or merch or something. He is truly a gentleman. When I make art, I'll take requests, or I'll give them a physical thing in exchange for money like Kazerad. It's just reasonable, and by the time I am a good artist, nothing will be under 50 dollars anyway.
Kazerad said to me once "If you want to grow up to be like me, I do highly recommend psychology as a field of study." I think I'll do that, but I always wonder what kind of jobs you could get as a psychologist, like I hate therapists, and school guidance conselours, cause fucking shitty one accused me of being racist jsut cause I told one of my friends that border control was coming for his family as a joke and she just ASSUMED I was racist, if she ever asked me, she would see I was not racist to every race but one, fuck that guidance counselor I hate her so much, she was horrible thats only like 1% of the bullshit she pulled on me, fuck her. What was I talkling about again? psychology as a field of study? Yeah so I'm gonna be a psychologist I think, or maybe as a side thing like he says. So watch out for the trucker/biker/mercenary/psychologist!
7:47pm -- Decided to do a Minutes post to catalouge some things happening today. I am gonna write interesting things that happen every time something interesting happens.
7:53pm -- Found this leet blog by this guy Reuben Oluwagembi "War Unlimited", It makes me wonder if Kazerad has a blog! It's rainging right now and I'm listening to Flamenco by tragically hip on my record player/cd/tape player combo, which is also my second stereo in my room. Normally if it was raining I'd listen to No Need to Argue by the Cranberries, but my CD got scratched up and can't play anymore! So I'll have to make a new one, which sucks cause it was an original CD.
8:05pm I don't know why I even write in this blog. My only viewer is Kazerad, and thats only when I send him a message that I updated it, and even then he's been ignoring me so really I have nobody reading my blog. I've just been reading reubens blog and listening to the rain and Tragically Hip.
Sorry for not updating my blog sooner, I lost the internet for a big chunk of august, another exciting event in the life of Marcus Capelli. It didn't really affect me much though, all I did was play oblivion and listen to the Pixies on my stereo. Nothing new with Kazerad as far as I know, I do plan to send him something asking for actual real advice instead of notorious questions as "does drawing furry art make you gay?". Something like "Whats your best advice for dealing with critics/haters?" or maybe ask him for his history as a furry, like how and when he started drawing, to his influences and stuff. I think he is probably a very wise feller but I've not asked him any actual questions for him to dispense this wisdom. I think I'll go delete/edit all those stupid messages I sent with the furry art = gay? questions. That was my update, bye.
News! I been playing Resistance 3 and Uncharted 3 the last few days, nice last night before school too, played Resistance 3, and then watched Clerks (my favorite movie). Sent Kazerad a message after that last blog post. No response yet, either hes ignoring me or didn't see my message, cause he probably gets like 30 messages a day. I have no issue with him at all by the way, if you were thinking I was all selfish being like "He's MINE!!". To clarify, I said something absolutely horrible, which tied in with the current conversation we were having, pretty much said something along the lines of " " EEEEWWWGHGH WHYY!?? I do NOT blame him for being like "WTF GET AWAY" and ignoing every other message. I clarify I have not done... that. I didn't want to admit I said.. that, but God told me that I should admit my sins, for I will find forgiveness, I think thats smart. So, if you are reading this, kazerad then like, act like that day never happened? :P I mean, please communicate with me at least, I seek forgiveness 4 my sins. Uncharted 3 is great, liked 1 & 2 more but 3 is still really good, not as many cool interesting places like in the first two games. Desert was cool but rusty boat place was mediocre. In other news, I went back to look at Katia Managan porn to make sure I still hated those who drew it and.. by all means, they deserve to die, some more agrgious ones deserve to be tortured to death. With me I either like you a lot or I despise you and wish for your demise, and there is no inbetween. However, while AyGee, is a horrible person, I have extended some mercy for him because I like his friend and I think Kazerad would disaprove of me wishing for his death. :P Might be somethign else interesting at play here, every time I look back at kazerads stream, the only asshole online is AyGee, could it be he is taken a break? As much as I wish it was, its untrue. As always, Dev1lsAdvocate is trunning an interesting stream, I like him, AyGee is drawing furry porn, as expected. He really is a one-note pony. The process of digitally drawing is somewhat interesting, I only draw with a pencil so its interesting to see how he does it, I guess a war is never completely black and white. DA and AG are examples of a good furry and bad furry, Advocate is a pretty good person from what I see, AyGee is the opposite. I am thinking of waht to do in occordance with the Kazerad issue and I think telling him to look at this blog may help? He may understand to actually just act like it never happened. What an idiotic mistake, of all the foolish moves I have made this is the worst. Favorite person, now hates me, with one message.
What an idiot I was, and still am. Kazerad is a good man, by all means, but somehow I have made even him want to leave me. And no I was not kidding when I said all I did was think about Kazerad. I don't even know what I could say to him to win him back, should I be like "kazerad jsut pretend it never happened and read mah blog if you wanna know why." I don't know if he even still reads my messages. I'm sorry I only talk about him but, he's the only interesting thing happening in my life so :P. I guess i'm not a muthaphucking GENTLEMAN I'm not a gentleman check dat song!
I am at home today, I "faked" sick so I could play Saints Row 2. Faking sick is very simple and easy for me now, nowhere as near as exicting as it was in elementary or middle school, I just tell my brother I am sick and don't want to go to school and hes like "alright". Very easy. I got 3 new games on sunday, Tomb Raider, Saints Row 2, and F.E.A.R. and have just finished TR last night, so I'm starting on Saints row. The start sucks pretty much, the prison and everything reminds me of a shitty mobile game, in fact, the graphics are on apr with a mobile game. After that it gets decently fun though, its not as good as people say it is though. Nothing new with Kazerad, haven't sent that message yet, mainly out of fear of him just not reading it, or he becomes scared of me cause of those jackal posts.
I think I should just go ahead and send kazerad that message. I mean.. whats the worst that can happen? He ignores me? Kazerad won't do anything that bad, and he's too nice to be like "please stop messaging me" and blocks me, he's not mean like that. I do hope he doesn't jsut ignore my message though, I mean, waht if he does? should I send another message being like "Okay then I guess" or somehign? This blog is like the Liberty tree site in gta 4, where your actions are talked about in the news, and shows you theres a whole world around you in gta 4, saints rows got none of that. F.E.A.R. is good though. Very good.
So... I jsut went to send kazerad a message, and.. he already sent me one earlier? saying "Ack sorry about lack of reply, been really busy with a new merch thing; I should hopefully be arounder soon" So, hes not ignoring me cause I am weird, but becasue he was jsut really busy? SO COOL. I feel like this could be a torture method, to constantly lead soemone on, but I don't care! AWESOME! Now how will I be able to sleep, since I am so exicted? I did sleep for like 3 hours this afternoon so my mom couldn't get mad at me for not going to school, so I guess I can stay up a while. I had like a system shock when I realized he sent me a message. Insanity. I was getting ready to quote Heart of Darkness to him and everything, wow. I need to go listen to So cool by filter tight now.
I’ve spent much of the night reading emails sent in from visitors all around the world. I’m afraid I can’t answer all your emails (5) but I'll do my best. But there are a couple questions I wanted to post and answer:
Thank you Mugambi! I'm not sure what he thinks of me, if he thinks of me at all haha. I imagine I probably have a 58 dispostion score with him, in oblivion terms. I do hope he thinks well of me, and not as that weird schizo 17-year-old that asks him stupid questions. I've not told him of the blog, cause I think he might want to.. never speak to me again? Nah, but really, he's seen me deranged, religiously insane, and murderous before, so I don't think it'd be too much of a shock to him, but I dunno.
Who the fuck sends a message like that? Why would you send a message like that? I'm not a fag, a furry, nor gay. Kazerad is like 30 and i'm 17 so I don't think so, but fantasize about wahtever you want, gaylord. Kazerad would never do that, even if I was 18, because hes not gay, and even if he was I doubt he'd be interested in someone so young. Go fuck yourself, but learn to spell first.
Thank you a lot beja! You were totally right on the waiting thing, I guess you are a wizard of time haha. I like him because he is cool and really nice to me, and totally a good guy and really jsut a great person all around. My friends tease me because I talk about him a lot and because I only ever speak highly of him so they are like "Marcus go talk to your boyfriend and leave us alone" when they are like playing basketball and I'm just loitering there chatting with them pointlessly about whaever, cause I don't play basketball. I've seen him on stream once and i think a video where he delivered a bunch of toys to orphans on him site, so yeah ve seen him, but I don't know what you mean by "is he hot" He is like 30 dude. Why are there so many queers emailing me? I could call him handsome but thats no compliment coming from me, cause its like a comparision to myself so everyone thats decent looking is like 10/10 compared to me.
Alright, thank you all for emailing me, maybe I'll make another post soon if some more people email me. And quit saying so much gay shit, im 17! Even furries have standards.
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